Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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