He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
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