Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
