went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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