My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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