I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize