if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
handjob tips. give me some.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
