You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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