you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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