Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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