I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You are the jesus of drinking
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
