omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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