i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
