I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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