Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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