ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
