trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
