Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
