You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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