dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
