this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
