I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
