nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
