i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
