It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
