I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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