uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
