If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
