Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
