What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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