know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
