You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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