Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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