She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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