Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
