it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
