Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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