you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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