It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
this hospital has no fireball
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
