She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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