I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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