party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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