dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
