Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
