you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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