what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize