This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
