worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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