I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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