Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
