East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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