I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
