My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
