Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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