seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
