I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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