Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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