i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
