i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
