I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
